Banter Bureau Advice Column: Longing Lover
Dear Longing Lover,
You had asked:
“ I don’t know who to really talk to about this since everyone I’ve talked to calls me a broken record. But I’ve been devastated for quite some time over a past lover that I’ve been with for a while. It’s been months now, and I’m not too sure on how to cope with this. I don’t expect answers, but if there is any advice, tell me how exactly I can get over this?”
First of all, thank you so much for writing to me! Lovers are always a tricky subject, so please know you’re not alone in your experience. There is no shame in heartbreak no matter what your friends say!
They say time heals all wounds, and, at least in my experience, this has been proven true. Though it’s already been a few months, healing from something like a big breakup is typically a marathon- not a sprint. Sometimes concentrating on what you are feeling in the now is exactly what you need to grow and move on. The first piece of advice I would provide would be to try and give yourself the time and space to reflect on yourself and the relationship. I’d consider this the first stepping stone to being able to put the past behind you. Once you have given yourself the time to grieve, then the fun part follows! You can be thankful for the experiences and lessons your past relationship has given you and turn your eyes to the future! There is so much life out there to take hold of and cherish. Summer is coming up soon! Plan a day trip with your friends, have a picnic, go to the beach, and enjoy the sun!
For now, let yourself feel. Healing comes naturally, it isn’t forced. Take baby steps, maybe journal if you don’t want to talk about how you’re feeling to your friends. Know that you’ve got people that support you, (namely those friends that are excited to see you grow and heal!) and take your journey in stride!
Here’s to tubs full of ice cream and cheesy romance movies!
Thank you for being my first response! Make sure to look out for our boxes or flyers placed around campus if you want to ask for more advice!
xoxo
– The Banter Bureau