Banter Bureau Advice Column: Crushing Casanova

Dear Crushing Casanova,

First of all, thank you so much for writing to me! I will be sure to help you out to the best of my abilities.

In your asking for advice you had said:

“I have a crush on my best friend, and I don’t know if I should let those feelings die out and keep the friendship or tell them how I feel and see where it goes.”

Having these conflicting feelings is entirely normal. Being so hesitant about whether or not you confess to your crush, in a way, shows how much you care about them. You are not alone in your problem; millions of others could vouch for that. Being uncomfortable and unsure are entirely reasonable reactions seeing that confessing puts you in a vulnerable position. First, I would have you weigh out your options. Consider the very best scenario, the very worst scenario, and everything in between. Despite what you may feel, there is no overwhelming pressure to tell them how you feel right this moment. You can take your time and think through everything that telling or not telling them would offer. Reflect on yourself, consider whether or not you can be committed to a relationship right now, and ask the same about your crush. Have they expressed their want and ability to be in a relationship right now? All of these things will factor into your decision!

While there is no rush toward confessing, the timing you choose to confess can be significant. Try to talk to them while you are both relaxed and in a private space. If you confess, it’s best to be honest about your feelings while, at the same time, being ready for any reaction. Keep in mind that, while you will be vulnerable, a rejection doesn’t necessarily translate into the loss of your friendship entirely. Believe it or not, two mature people can continue being best friends even after something like this! As your best friend, I’m sure they care about you immensely and wouldn’t want to lose you either. Consider how you can maintain a healthy relationship with this person whether or not they reciprocate your feelings, and how you will take care of yourself emotionally.

It’s important to remember that you have people to rely on! Friends, family, and other trusted individuals can give more context to my advice and even help you in your process of weighing out the pros and cons.

Best of luck to you, Crushing Casanova!

Keep your head up,

The Banter Bureau