Banter Bureau Advice Column: Edward Crow

Dear Edward Crow,

Thank you very much for writing to us! You had said:

“I have two friends beefing and I want to invite them over to hang out. They don’t like each other so what should I do?”

Having friends fight is always a stressful event, especially when you are in the middle of it. Being a friend comes with many challenges in and of itself, and college can definitely accentuate those challenges as both you and your friends become more stressed and busy. The first thing that I would do is to try to hear out both sides of whatever argument they are having.

Most importantly, make sure to be neutral when talking to both of your friends. Taking a side in their argument may push them apart even further. Make sure that you bring to light any potential misunderstandings, which will hopefully help dissolve the argument immediately. If you can, encourage your friends to talk with one another instead of through a third party. If not, you might just want to give your friends the space they need from one another. Although you’re more than welcome to hang out with your friends one-on-one, give time for them to cool down and process whatever argument it is that they are in. Hopefully, with time, both of your friends will come back together once again and move on from their skirmish.

Lastly, I would advise you to promote empathy between your friends. Help each friend understand the other’s perspective by pointing out common feelings or concerns. Sometimes seeing things from the other’s point of view can make a big difference. Remind them that holding onto grudges can harm their friendship. Encouraging forgiveness and focusing on positive aspects of their relationship can be beneficial. Helping friends through arguments takes a lot of patience and level-headedness, so try to take deep breaths during this frustrating time.

You’ve got this!

-The Banter Bureau