My Struggle with Mental Health and Stress in the Nursing Program

Written by Kaylee Zukowski

My transition from high school into college was not terrible due to participating in the University of Saint Joseph summer program. I had friends and I had a newfound hope to achieve my dreams. The first semester of freshman year went smoothly, and I thought “Oh, I can do this. Why did everyone tell me it would be hard?” Then the next semester came, and I got into inorganic & organic chemistry. I thought that college would be just as it was for me in high school. I figured I would get straight A’s once again and not struggle in doing it at all. Man, was it a shock for me when I had to withdraw from that chemistry class because I was going to fail. It was like my whole world came crashing down on me, and the once smart, straight-A girl was now a horrible student. I panicked, and I started to doubt myself. This was with just one class, mind you. When the harder classes started to come up, like pathophysiology and pharmacology, I almost felt as though I could never amount to anything. I was struggling to study, struggling to even pass the exams that they had us complete. I had always done well; my parents had always taken pride in their daughters’ achievements. I had always thought all I amounted to was my academic achievements… And if I didn’t have that, I had nothing. So when those classes came up, I started to get lower grades, and in came the self-deprecation. “You can’t do this. You’re insane for thinking you’re smart enough for this. It’s too late now; your parents will disown you for your grades.” All of these thoughts ran through my mind every time I took those tests, every time I was waiting for those grades. I knew the program’s rules. I thought getting anything lower than a B would end me, that I would be done in nursing, and I would have nowhere else to go. That I would be a homeless nobody all because I didn’t pass one class…

I just barely passed Pathophysiology and Pharmacology II. I got terrible grades on the exams. I worked myself to death to get a better grade, to actually do good on the final exam because it would determine my grade. I HAD to get at least a B- overall in the class, and the only way I would achieve that was through obtaining a 90% or above. I thought I wasn’t going to make it, that I couldn’t do it. Well, I didn’t get a 90%, but I got an 87%, and I passed the course with a C+. I felt so proud of myself because I struggled so much throughout the semester to keep pushing myself to do better. I felt so happy that I was able to stay in the nursing program, that one class didn’t end my career. Now I am a senior, and I am graduating not long from now. I’m almost there, and you are too. If I am able to get through depression, self-doubt, and mental crisis, you can do this. It’s hard and taxing, it will never be easy. Yet you have so much support around you and all of your teachers are happy to assist you in studying. YOU GOT THIS!