Friendly Foe

Dear Friendly Foe,

You’ve asked, “What do I do when my ex-best friend turns everyone against me?”

This is a particularly difficult situation. Firstly, I’d like to apologize for your unfortunate experience. Losing a best friend hurts, even if it was a mutual falling out. While I don’t know the specifics of your situation, I’m going to assume that you mean you have mutual friends with your ex-best friend that are now being distant, or perhaps have been rude in some way. 

There are many ways you could go about this! If these friends are near and dear to you, maybe try to reach out to them. Set up a time to meet and talk openly and honestly about the situation. Describe how they might have hurt you, and express your worry that they might have been pulling away. Now, I know I’m describing this process as if it were easy, but being honest and vulnerable is difficult. Try to prepare yourself for the conversation the best you can– maybe run through different possibilities of what could happen when you bring up this sensitive topic. Prepare for the best and the worst! 

If these friends are more like acquaintances, I would say taking the high road and allowing them to distance themselves from you is the best way to go. Focus on the connections to the friends that have stayed with you! Know that they have your back. Taking the time and emotional effort to confront the situation when these people really might not be that close to you might just not be worth the effort. Again, while this may seem easier said than done, knowing your limits and taking a step back from the situation may be the best way to move forward and leave these people in the past. 

All in all, I hope that you’re able to start a new connection and find a best friend in someone that will be there for you, be honest with you, and make you laugh! You deserve good people supporting you, and you deserve to have good people to support!

Best of luck!

Sincerely,

The Banter Bureau